S.O.S.

i am in the weeds.  i need help.  i am having one of those bad mommy days that no one talks about.  an avid blog reader, i have noticed that bloggers rarely write about these days.  i could talk about it with my girlfriends, but often times when we are together, surprisingly, talking about our children is not at the tip-top of the list. 

lately being ben's mom has been especially challenging.  i'll spare you the details, but there have been moments where i feel completely out-of-control. i try to step outside of myself in the moment and not react in a way that i will completely regret. i find myself wondering if we have made a wrong turn somewhere when it comes to discipline.  i wonder if this is just part of being the mother of a two-year old.  i wonder if this too shall pass.  or is his recent behavior, especially toward me, something i need to worry about?  i feel like we have worked really hard to do the right thing as parents, yet lately it seems we are headed in the wrong direction.  am i being too hard on myself?  or as a parent, am i supposed to be this hard on myself?


geez.  they weren't lying when they said kids don't come with instruction manuals.  if they sold them for a million dollars, i would be at the bank filling out a loan application right now.


i know that on this blog, i post pictures of the best parts of my week, but rarely talk about my worst.  and by not doing that, things can tend to look picture perfect, which just isn't the case.  for anyone, i hope :)  right or wrong, i find joy in the horror stories of others.  i want to know all about other people's bad days.  i want to hear all about the tantrums.  i want to know that someone else's little boy missed the toilet and peed all over the bathroom.  i want to hear all about the poop nightmares.  i want to know if other toddler's have pent-up aggression toward their mothers?  anyone?  anyone???  i thought that problem was reserved for moms and daughters during the teenage years ;)  

i felt i owed it to this blog to be completely honest.  actually, writing about this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day(s) has made me feel a tiny bit better and a little less like packing up and moving to mexico.


thanks for reading my novel.